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Lonely Hearts Coterie
Guest reporter: Mei
Despite all the tremendous progress we’ve made in our post-Peach society, the Free Cities can be a lonesome place at times, and with populations still at an all-time low compared with pre-apocalypse numbers, it’s not so hard to believe that special someone isn’t one of the twenty five other people in your small village, but rather could be far away, waiting for you in another part of the Alliance!
For this edition of Lonely Hearts Coterie, we’ll be traveling deep into the scorching heat of the Eufaula Desert to meet the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of fabulous Sandrock!
Owen is a local Sandrocker who likes long walks through the desert and the cool taste of Yakmel milk after a hard day of working at his saloon, the Blue Moon. When he’s not on the clock, you can often find him on stage, reciting stories about the Old World (and more!) in riveting detail to his friends and patrons.
Practically famous in Sandrock, Owen is known to always be there when a helpful hand is needed and has been known as one of the most helpful Sandrockers and had this to say on the matter: “You’re making me blush! I do what my Ma always taught me, which is to treat others how you want to be treated!”
Owen also identifies himself as a music fan who loves to have live performances at his saloon. Stop in for a show and say hello!
Favorite activities: Sandfishing, chatting at the saloon, sandsurfing
Amirah is a soft-spoken jewel of the desert who hails from Barnarock. She’s said that she’s relatively new to Sandrock and thought this little project might be a good way to meet some new friends! “The desert is only a lonely place if you let it be,” she added.
She invites anyone who’s interested to stop by her shop to check out some of her pottery and sculptures, discuss art, and have a quiet place to enjoy her personal twist on the Sandrock favorite, Sand Tea!
Favorite activities: Creating art, sightseeing, watching desert sunsets with friends
Dr. Qi, scientific researcher extraordinaire, opened this LHC interview with the statement: “You mean you’re not here about the ad I put out for a Type 0X data reader? I see… Well, you’re here now. I suppose it would be rude not to entertain some of your interrogations.”
His responses were as follows:
Q: What are some of your hobbies?
Q: Is science difficult?
Q: What are some of the difficulties you faced on your most recent project?
Q: …Do you have anyone you’re interested in?
Q: What’s that thingy over there?
A: Ah, yes, you have a keen eye for Old World technology; that “thingy” was most likely a part of some sort of navigational beacon that was once imbedded in ship that could travel to the stars; the knowledge it’s hiding is undoubtably phenomenal and if I can just find the right data reader… Oh, er… My apologies, I got a bit off topic, and… I… trust that I have answered your questions adequately…?
Rather than tempt fate, this reporter decided to end the interview here. Though the esteemed Dr. Qi might not be the eligible bachelor he had originally been framed as, please know that he’s a very enthusiastic scientist with a lot to offer; the only question remains is this: is there an opening… in his heart?
Favorite activities: Research
Elsie is from Sandrock, born and raised, but unfortunately, she wouldn’t focus on this interview long enough to provide any meaningful information. “I’m only doin’ this to shut my Pa up!” was the only response given, but being that the question was, “What’s your favorite ranch animal;” whether or not this could be considered a response will remain up for debate. Shortly after this fidgety exchange, she jumped on a horse and rode away.
Nevertheless, this reporter is sure that she’s a perfectly fine young lady who is worthy of any number of brave suitors’ ambitions.
Favorite activities: Riding, unpredictable behavior, bothering reporters
CONTACT: Please send or telegraph letters addressed to the Tumbleweed Standard with the subtitle ‘Lonely Hearts,’ and our eligible suitors will respond to you if interested!